So. I delivered the Tunisian blanket to my brother-in-law tonight. I started off by telling him that over the years he had brought a lot of hurt and pain to this family, and it was hard for me, the outsider to watch the pain in his mother, his brothers, his grandparents. But that was the past, and just doesn't matter. I asked his forgiveness for any and every time in the past I had offended him. I told him about how this yarn, this blanket, was supposed to be for me and only me, learning a new technique I figured it would have flaws, but somehow when I put my hand in the box and touched the yarn for the first time I just felt "Chad", and from that moment I never had a doubt that this was for Chad and only Chad.
I told him that it was after that that Jason (my husband, the oldest of the brothers) told me that he, Chad, had been clean for more than a year. That that was just HUGE, after all the years of struggling with addiction, he was clean? And then shortly after that he had the incident where Jason called a friend to get him medical attention in jail (he got picked up again, but this time not for wrongdoing. He was a passenger in a car that got pulled over, the cop ran him, and found he had unpaid fines and took him to jail for it), he was released and taken straight to the hospital, where they found his L4 through S1 spine is nearly completely compressed. Chad has a nearly full left leg amputation so has been walking on prostheses for 30 years.
Anyway. When I pulled the blanket out of the bag and handed it to him, you could just tell. He knows this blanket was special. I prayed over it and him for many hours while I was working on it. I took it to my mother's prayer partners and had them anoint it and pray over it. In the night time hours when he feels all alone, he has this to hold onto and KNOW that he is never alone, and never has been. Someone is out there praying for him. God is watching him and knows his struggles, his pains,
There are flaws in this afghan throw. I definitely see them, and they make me cringe. But when he sees them, he will be reminded that he is flawed, but in his darkest thoughts, in his sorrow for his past, in his worst flaws, God has been watching over him, waiting for him to stand and say "no", to look toward the Light, to reach for Him. His flaws are part of him, and it's okay.
He is not alone.
These words resound in my head every single day. You are not alone. He is not alone. She is not alone. He watches over you, and in your darkest moments you are to be reminded .....
You are not alone.